Reflecting

One year ago today, I was in the hospital for a D & C after finding about having a miscarriage. I've been thinking about my whole miscarriage experience and comparing it to what is happening in my life right now. I am three weeks away from my due date and bringing a little man into this world.

The other night I spent the evening making a crib skirt and decorating a nursery, when a year prior I had been laying on the couch trying to force myself to eat. Though the two experiences were polar opposite, and in spite of my extreme sadness and worry I still felt blessed last year and continue to feel so blessed and excited for the change about to come into my life.

I tried not to ask myself the question "Why me?" last year but it happened, and while I still don't know 'why' or if there really is a 'why', I feel like I've learned a lot about myself and my relationship with Steve and my Heavenly Father because of that trial. For that I am truly grateful to have had an experience that brings me closer to where I need to be. In many ways, I feel so grateful that I had to experience the pain and sorrow of a miscarriage so I could fully appreciate the happiness, anticipation, and excitement of being pregnant.

I really can't believe that my life could change any day now, I'm trying to get the finishing touches going on the nursery and I need to pack a hospital bag, and wash all of the little baby clothes etc. What I'm really trying to focus on is enjoying these last days/weeks I have with just me and Steve because I know it will never be quite the same after we bring our little guy home.

Wish me luck- I might be a mom by the time I get around to writing another post :)