Kusadasi, Turkey

After Athens, We headed over to Turkey for a couple of days! The first stop was Kusadasi, near Ephesus. What's that you say- Ephesus sounds familiar? Well yes, Ephesus was a key city in biblical times and where Paul preached to the Ephesians! This was a really cool place. We went to the ruins of Ephesus, the house of the Virgin Mary and the ruins of the Cathedral of Saint John.

We woke up to this amazing sunrise... fantastic eh?

Some pictures from the ruins of Ephesus...

This is the main drag of Ephesus, the "Rodeo Drive" of the ancient city if you will. All of these pillars were topped with sculptures and the columns were marble. Sounds like it would have been pretty fantastic

The amphitheater where it's believed Paul preached

A sculpture of the Goddess Nike

Gross interesting fact... These are ancient toilets in a bath house. The hole underneath the toilet seat was so a person's servant could wipe their bums.... Gross huh?

These are clay pipes that were used for plumbing- isn't that awesome! I loved learning how advanced these ancient cities were.

This is the ruins of an ancient library, it was beautiful

Loved all of these signs for genuine fake watches- they were everywhere
At the house of that the they believe the Virgin Mary spent the end of her life. This was a beautiful place. It was calm and peaceful and I really enjoyed this part of our visit.

This is believed to be an ancient baptismal font

This is believed to be an ancient baptismal font

The ruins of the cathedral of St. John. They claim to have his body buried in a tomb there... interesting.

Good night Kusadasi.

Venice and Athens

Welcome to Venezia! After almost a full 24 hours of being in airplanes and airports, we started our Mediterranean adventure in this crazy city! It really looks just like its shown in the movies. We were there for an about a day before we had to get on the cruise ship. We were able to visit St. Mark's square where there were a lot of pigeons, the Dojo's palace, a famous clock tower, go on a Gondola ride. We also had an 'authentic' Venetian dinner on a beautiful plaza in Venice. The cuisine left much to be desired though... so if you're ever in Venice- DO NOT eat eggplant gnocchi with a mint tomato sauce... don't do it!

While in St. Mark's square, everyone decided to play with the millions of pigeons- everyone except me that is. I have a total phobia of pigeons. I just really really really hate them, probably because they are flying rats, but whatever. While everyone let the dirty pigeons crawl all over them....

... I stood back a good 15 feet so all pigeons knew that I was off limits :)

On a gondola ride! This was the night of our 4th anniversary and we spent it on a gondola ride in Venice being sang to by an authentic Italian gondolier. How cool is that?

In jail in the Dojo's palace!

Our gondolier

At the top of the famous clock tower... This was almost the best part of the day because the air was about 20 degrees cooler up here and the wind felt SO amazing :) The views were pretty awesome too!

More Gondola

View of Venice from the ship as we left port

Enjoying the fresh air and the views of Venice and the ocean- just before we worked out then gorged ourselves on delicious food all day :)


We spent two days on the ship and then we had a stop scheduled in Athens....

... but this is what the port looked like when our ship pulled in. Yup, those taxi cabs are blockading the port because they are protesting their wages.
We had an awesome excursion booked to go see all of the major sites of Athens but all tours got cancelled and no one was even allowed off of the ship. Our tour of Athens was done using the telephoto lens on Brent's camera to get a view of the Acropolis. It was such a bummer! So, instead of learning about the ancient Greeks, we played hearts all day and lounged by the pool. It could have been worse :)

Jordan's face pretty much sums it up

Miscarriage: Part Three

I’ve been going through one of those ‘waves’ of sadness recently. I’ve heard a couple of people who have been through this describe it as that- periods of happiness, sadness and neutrality that kind of ebb and flow and get all mixed together at times.

It's about the time when we would have been finding out the gender of the baby and I would have a cute baby bump- maybe I would be about to the point of needing maternity clothes. I try my hardest not to think about these things, but it just so happens that a lot of people I know are pregnant and due right around the same time I was. I see them updating their blogs/facebook pages with these types of posts and I can’t help but go into the ‘what if’s’ sometimes.

I hate it when I let myself do it though because it inevitably ends with me feeling sad and lonely.

It’s not that I’m mad or angry at the people who are so delightfully happy- I suppose I’m feeling some jealousy- just wishing that I could be having those celebrations with them.

For some reason this weekend was particularly difficult. I found myself moody and was frequently plagued by flashbacks to the days after we found out. I remembered looking at the paint blemish on the wall waiting to hear the news. I remembered crying in the operating room before the D and C. I also remembered sitting in the examining room waiting to hear the expected heartbeat. It was so heartbreaking- why would my brain make me relive all of those moments????

Today was a sunny and beautiful 60 degree day in Colorado. It definitely lifted my spirits. Steve and I got outside and took a walk around Lake Mac and talked about going on a dream vacation this summer. We laughed and joked and had such a fun time. We discussed how in the future, we will be a family that takes Sunday afternoon bike rides. It was such a great afternoon.

He had to leave for California on business this week. I dropped him off at the airport a couple of hours ago and am wishing right now that I didn’t have to say goodbye to him for so long! Luckily, I have a busy week ahead of me hopefully it just flies by until the next thing I know it’s 12:40 am on Friday and I’m picking him up at the airport (That’s right- he couldn’t get a flight home until after midnight on Friday, bummer!).

Summer in Utah-- Catchup!!!

I wanted to at least try to catch up on our summer events before its a lost cause (it might already be a lost cause....). We had such a fun summer. We lived with Steve's parents. Steve's sister and brother-in-law also lived with his parents and his other brother and his wife live only minutes away from the Hale' house. Then at the beginning of July, Steve's other brother and his wife and their three kiddos moved into the same house. Yes- Steve's parents had 3/5 grown and married children living with them. Plus, once Annie got home from her mission they had 4/5 children living with them (Annie was only there for like 5 days before we left on our cruise- but still!) It was chaotic, fun, crazy and at times exhausting. I wouldn't have done it any other way though. It seemed like everyday was busy and we were traveling and/or doing something fun!

We went on a camping trip for a few days with Steve's brother Scott, his wife Rachel and their very new baby. They took us to a beautiful place where Steve could try out his new fly fishing rod and we could all relax. We took a couple of bike rides, went for a few hikes and ate a lot of good food. It was a beautiful place.

One day I decided it would be a good idea to read a book in the sun with no sunscreen on and midcalf length capri pants. You can see that this actually wasn't a good idea and I got a nasty tan line that never actually went away.... Lesson Learned.

Even though it was the end of June, there was still a lot of snow on the ground. I love this picture of a little bloom poking up through the snow- it must be a determined little plant.

Steve's prize rainbow trout (EDIT: Correction: Steve has just informed me that this is a brown trout- not a rainbow trout... and he made me change it in this post :)

We were going to be en route to and in Venice on our 4th Anniversary with Steve's whole family-- so we decided to go overnight to Park City and stay in a fancy hotel overnight to celebrate. As always- we had a problem! First of all, Steve didn't even feel good and second of all I got in a bath and when I got out I saw that there was water EVERYWHERE. The tub had leaked all over the bathroom floor and into the bedroom area. There was like 1/2 an inch of water on the ground. So, at like 2 in the morning we had to pack up all of our stuff and move rooms. They gave us a discount luckily but it was still a bummer. Someday we'll go somewhere for our anniversary without a hitch. So far, it hasn't happened!

We got these great Hale Family pictures taken right before our cruise. I thought they turned out great!

Oh ya- the in-laws are sooo ridiculously good looking :)

We also went to Lagoon one day with the whole family- the kids had a great time and the adults had an even better time. We were there as it opened and stayed until it closed. We got on the bumper cars about 50 times over and over again right before we left. It was awesome. Steve, Mike, Jordan and I also did the skycoaster which is so fun! It totally fulfills any desire I might have to skydive or bungee jump!

Then- Annie came home from an 18 month mission in Nebraska. We were so excited to see her!!!

Mike also had a birthday...

The rest of these pictures are just random pictures of the day to day we experienced this summer. We had to try really hard to get Lucy to like us- we finally got her one treat at a time :)

Abbie and cute little Adelaide

I promise that we even did the mundane kinds of things like folding laundry- and I also promise that those underwear on Steve's head are clean :)

Adelaide love to look at pictures of herself!

Next up- 12 days in the Mediterranean!

Miscarriage: Part Two

It has been almost four weeks since we found out about the miscarriage. To be completely honest, I am shocked at how good/normal I feel and how much hope I have for the future.

The D and C went really well. I hope every surgery I have is that easy. I woke up in the recovery room a bit dizzy and disoriented and really hungry! We stayed at the hospital for about 45 minutes after I woke up and went home. After we got home, we watched movies all day. I had no pain and was only slightly bleeding. Saturday, we ventured out to get lunch and I did some Christmas shopping. Since then, I have had no pain and only bled lightly for about 5 days. I am so happy that I chose a D and C. I think it really helped expedite my healing and grieving process.

Though I felt pretty good, the weekend was tough for me. It was filled with lots of self-talk, blinking back tears, and Steve's reassurances that I could indeed make it through this trial.

Steve had to go on a business trip to Dallas from Sunday to Wednesday. So, I had rescheduled my flight to Utah for Sunday also. I felt a little dead inside thinking about being apart from him- I was so scared to venture out on my own and not have my rock there with me. Needless to say Sunday was not my favorite day. That night, I was at my in-law's house and stayed up practically the whole night talking, grieving and crying with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. It was so cathartic.

Then, when I woke up Monday morning, for the first time since I heard the news, I felt good. I felt hopeful. It was truly the strangest thing I've ever had happen to me. I know that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ heard all of the prayers being said for me and blessed me to feel that way. It was as if overnight, the whole burden had been lifted and I could rejoin the land of the living. It was one of the best blessings I have ever received in all of my life. I have still had some hard days, and hours but overall I have truly felt happy.

As I have thought about this experience and the ability I've been given to heal, I can't help but be grateful. I feel like I have truly been able to experience the happiness in life I had been missing and to know that when I am blessed to be pregnant again and have a baby, I will be able to experience the full spectrum of happiness and joy that come with that experience. For that I am truly grateful. I remember someone saying to me that to take the pain and sorrow out of life would also be to remove the happiness and joy and love too and it is so true.

I also can't help but be grateful for all of love and support I have received from everyone in my life. Words can't express how much every gesture of kindness meant to me. It has been especially helpful to hear stories of others who have gone through this experience, which I'm sure isn't an easy thing to talk about.

For now, I am still taking things one day at a time, but in a good way. I am hopeful, excited for the future, and grateful beyond words for the blessings I have been given.